Pikachu (deformed)
Fun to lean on! Just don't lean too hard, or... well, you don't want to know. Just don't. Trust us. — Image: AliExpress

Have you ever discovered one of those strange little shops on the high street that sells nothing but K-Pop posters, keyrings of anime boys, and weirdly off-model plushes of video game mascots? Well, that exists online, too.

Pikachu (deformed)
A selection of Long Pikachus, pictured with their latest kill — Image: AliExpress

According to Brian Ashcraft of Kotaku, a Japanese site called Hachima Kikou has been doing extensive coverage of "Dangerous Pikachu" - at least, that's how Google Translate deciphers it. The Pikachu in question is an unofficial plush that combines the loveable nature of Pokémon's electric mouse with the... longness of a caterpillar. As Hachima Kikou puts it, "This product is too evil."

Pikachu (deformed)
Fun fact: this is the only way to kill it! — Image: AliExpress

Despite looking like The Pokémon Company gave the merchandise reins to Junji Ito, this centipika is most definitely an illegal use of Nintendo's copyrighted imagery. However, it also comes in a 1.7 metre version, so you could replace your sofa with a pile of them. And who among us does not own their own cursed Pikachu?

The crime against nature is available on the Japanese version of AliExpress, and costs between $9.74 and $89.99, depending on which size you prefer. The site describes it as a "very long pikachued insect elf" that is a "yellow decoration Christmas gift for kids", and quite frankly, we don't think we can disagree!

Pikachu (deformed)
"Children, look what Santa brought you! This is what happens when you're on the naughty list!" — Image: AliExpress

Just don't blame us if you buy it and it turns out to be full of spiders, okay?

[source blog.esuteru.com, via kotaku.com]