Nintendo Alarmo
Image: Nintendo

You've got to love Nintendo. Here we all are, refreshing our feeds and inboxes every hour thinking that maybe, just maybe, it's the day our favourite purveyor of video games lifts the lid on the mythical 'Switch 2'... and then this.

You want new hardware, do ya? Sure, here's your new hardware, pal.

Let's not get hung up on what Alarmo isn't and instead focus on what it is, because honestly this looks pretty cool. Uniquely and innocently Nintendo (to the point of being misguided, perhaps), and loaded with the requisite quota of surprise and delight. Certainly surprise.

It seems that this is the little WiFi device Nintendo recently filed FCC paperwork for, but Alarmo also appears to tie into the Quality of Life initiative the firm has had on the back burner for many, many years.

First impressions? Alarmo looks like a fun little device aimed (presumably) at kids — and diehard Nintendo fans like us. It's the kind of charming, intriguing, goofy toy that only Nintendo would be crazy enough to manufacture and we're genuinely eager to get our hands on it and see what secrets it holds. It joins a long line of oddball Nintendo peripherals (pedometers, pilates rings, cardboard boxes), although here there seems to be no actual link to its gaming hardware.

Records
Image: Nintendo

But geez, $100 is a pretty penny for a Nintendo-branded novelty alarm clock. If it had some interactivity with Switch or amiibo, it might be easier to swallow that price pill. We'd love to be able to scan a Captain Falcon for the F-Zero theme (which would inform us that we got boost power when we finally jumped out of bed, naturally).

We imagine there'll be new themes coming to tie into upcoming releases. We're thinking some soothing Metroid Prime music lulling us to a peaceful slumber. And Samus shaking us awake with missile blasts. Perfect.

That price tag, though. European pricing hasn't been announced at the time of writing, which is just as well — it's entirely possible that Alarmo will break the three-figure mark in GBP and EUR. We shall see. [Update: It's available in Europe now for £89.99 / €99.99.]

Still, if money isn't an issue and you're after a new Nintendo hardware fix, this looks like a lot of fun. A motion-sensing device that monitors movements in your bed and makes sounds in time to those movem—ohhhhh neu.

Look, maybe it's our internet-dirtied minds. Maybe it's society's fault! Or maybe it's the memory of all the anatomically detailed sketches that many talented artists posted to Miiverse, to the apparent surprise of the innocent NCL team that crafted that much-missed social portal on Wii U. It seems to us, though, that the time-to-dodgy-internet-clips with this one is going to be extremely short. Let's see if we can make it to tomorrow morning. Safe Search on, people!

Speaking with the But
Speaking with the what now? — Image: Nintendo

Joking aside, there's a perverse part of us that enjoys how Nintendo trolls everybody with its innocence. The company itself has said almost nothing about the Switch successor — it's us fans and industry onlookers who work ourselves up by chatting, speculating, wishing, hoping. Switch 2 rumours are echoing around all corners of Nintendo fandom and wider gaming circles, and into that frenzy Alarmo gets sent... and somehow manages to charm away any disappointment through its sheer level of What-the-f—.

Touché, Nintendo. Touché.

How interested in Nintendo Alarmo are you?

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A fanfare plays and the alarm comes to an end.

Let us know your thoughts on Nintendo Alarmo (sorry, 'Nintendo Sound Clock: Alarmo', to give it its full title) below, and look out for the Nintendo hardware review you've all been waiting for as soon as we're able!